First, let me preface this statement that I am horribly biased against
globo big box gyms since I am now a dedicated crossfitter. That being said, I am still a member at Gold's because I haven't had the time to
get the hell out of dodge cancel my membership. Once again, medical school interferes with life.
I haven't been to Gold's in a long time. Sure, it is conveniently located on the east side and was fairly cheap, but I began to notice some things there that I didn't care for.
#1 Trainer TurnoverThere were some very dedicated traditional trainers at Gold's. There were also some people with questionable certifications, poor people skills, poor training skills, and one
convicted sex offender. I went through 4 trainers there. I still have sessions owed to me. I'll pass on them. The trainers they have left there are terribly overscheduled and I would often only get 2/3 of my hour session.
#2 Scary ClientèleI noticed a growing number of members that would never workout and just sit and watch people. While there is nothing wrong with
oogling girls in spandex people-watching, it gets disturbing when it is done in a predatory manner. I also found it disturbing to not understand the language being spoken while the aforementioned
oogling people-watching occurred.
#3 Broken and Dirty EquipmentBroken lockers were quite common. It didn't look like these were over-use damages. These looked a lot like people who wanted to bypass locks and acquire the good within. Cardio machines would be perpetually out of service. On multiple occasions, I notified the front desk about machines that were out of service. Some remained so for
months upstairs.
Now these guys have the stones to
swindle me out of charge me more money for a
ghetto crappy gym. I have to call bullshit on that one. When I signed up (I am a charter member) I was told that the fee would never increase. Technically, they have not increased my monthly fee, they added an additional fee that
I never agreed to. Let's do some math.
Let's say that I pay $20 a month. (I pay more because of the childcare I don't use. Yes it is stupid and wasteful)
I would now have a $15 fee that would be paid twice yearly. 15x2=30
$30/year divided by 12 months 30/12 = $2.50
2.5/20 = 0.125
That means a 12.5% increase in money coming out of my pocket. Did I mention that I never agreed to this
bullshit fee? Some of you might say "Hey it's only $30 a year and you might get something extra from it! Cheapass!" My response is this:
Give me $30. You can paypal it to me here: ben@benweger.com While you are at it, I would like you to do it every year and I may or may not increase the amount you are giving me at any time. I will then use this money for something that you may or may not use. It would also go toward things that you would expect me to do with any money you are already giving me. Sound good? Great! While you are at it I have some magic beans for you.
Thus, this week's douchenozzle is Gold's Gym. Thank you for reminding me to cancel my membership and why I need to do it as soon as possible. Technorati Tags:
demotivator,
douchenozzle,
gold's gym,
surcharges
Five Things I am Happy For
I was originally going to post this on Thanksgiving but, due to a coma, was unable to complete the task. Between the tryptophan in the turkey and the overload of sugar and fat from both the pumpkin bread pudding and the persimmon pudding, I required several days to recover. Needless to say we are in times of plenty.
#1 I am thankful for my family.
Oh sure people are thankful for family, but what does that mean? My family is as flawed and bizarre as any. There are no planned trips to the Jerry Springer show, but my Aunt and Uncle were in the audience once. Through it all but they are always supportive and hopeful for me. Sure there are some that can and should be heavily medicated, they are good people. My wife is my best friend, my son is a dream come true (though I do want to send him to military school on a frequent basis), and my mother and sister have been there for me when I was stupid and clueless (well, more than I am normally). My aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandmother are always a treat to see, though I am not able to see them as frequently as I may like. I never knew my mother's side, neither did she. While part of me wonders about them, the ones that are in my life have more than filled any emotional void. If anything, it makes me want to have a larger family to share in the insanity gifts I have received. I also have amazing in laws that I swear are actually robots. These senior citizens can outwork a dozen seasoned laborers. I can only hope to have their energy and zeal some day.
#2 I am thankful that I am reasonably healthy.
There are a lot of sick people out there and, through my course of work and study, I have had the ability to participate in their care. While there are a substantial amount of whiners douchebags leeches malingerers out there, we have a lot of really sick people in Indianapolis. Most are just regular people in a bad situation, others actively participated in the cause of their disease and refuse to accept that cocaine alcohol marijuana cigarettes Golden Corral heroin poor lifestyle choices led them there. Honestly, it makes me want to make better choices in my life. Of course I had to make the choice between which bowl of noodles and which tub of dressing I was going to get carb-loaded from. I need to take better care of myself... and that will start after I finish off this drumstick.
#3 I am thankful that I am in a comfortable lifestyle.
I have a home to live in, plenty of land to grow my own food on, and the ability to travel where I need to go. I don't have a lot of bills (aside from the crushing debt of student loans) and I can have some creature comforts. Thanks to the United States Army and my loving wife, we are doing pretty well. There are a lot of people in trouble these days. Many are victims of their poor choices, others are just plain screwed by circumstances. I count myself as a lucky man that I don't have to sell plasma, kidneys, or any other bodily fluid to stay afloat... not that I wouldn't do it for fun.
#4 I am thankful for my friends and colleagues.
I have had the pleasure of interacting with some amazing people in medicine. Many of these are my best of friends and I would gladly place my life in their hands were it needed. Sure some of them are assholes, but they are my kind of assholes. Most of them are kind and friendly, though you may miss it behind their jaded facade. All of them are talented and engaging, but rarely boastful of any of the miracles they have participated in. For every ass they have wiped or bullshit seeker they have had to fend off, there are a substantial number of lives that they have saved or affected in amazingly positive ways. Some of them are smoking hot too.
#5 I am thankful for the opportunity to live my own life.
I don't have an oppressive government, the constant threat of war, or raging pandemics knocking on my door. I have the ability to choose what I do in life and my success or failure is based on the choices I make based on the circumstances I am in. It is as close to being the master of my own destiny as one can get. Sadly it isn't like Masters of the Universe where I have a cool magic sword or Battle Cat ( I LOVED BATTLECAT!) but it is pretty cool, none the less. I can protect myself and my family should they need it and I have a voice in my own government, though they need the shit slapped out of them on a regular basis. I live in the land of opportunity and I am happily seizing (not in the pseudoseizure way) everything that comes my way. I am a blessed man and I am thankful for what I have in my life.
Posted at 09:26 PM in Current Affairs, Family, Fitness and Nutrition, Indianapolis, Social Commentary | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
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